Sometimes, I hate being a parent!! I mean wouldn't it be easier to just let them do whatever they want, whenever they want? Who needs boundaries? And why is self-discipline so stinkin' important anyway? I mean really, even as adults who needs all those things??? Okay, so back to reality. I don't consider myself to be an expert, but I do consider myself to be a good parent. But recently, I have had the revelation that my parenting skills have slipped (okay so maybe they crashed..but who's counting right?). I recently realized that what I never allowed myself to do when my children were little I now do. I am a firm believer in "following through". If I told my children "you do this, or there will be this consequence". Then you could guarantee if they didn't do it, the consequence would soon follow. The benefit of that was I had incredibly obedient children. I rarely had to double check them because they always obeyed me.
The past few weeks I have realized that my bluff on my children has disappeared. They are no longer afraid of me or consequences. I tell them to do something and they don't do it. Now, did this just start happening?? NO! I've no doubt it's been going on for some time and I am just now figuring it out. What does this mean for me?? It means I have to "buck up" and accept the responsibility of not following through. I have even found myself not even being able to come up with an "or else" if my children didn't obey me. WOW, how did I lose that skill??
I really believe I became so comfortable in my parenting skills that I let them slip away and didn't even realize it. Now, I have to choose to suck it up and start following through. If I don't, I will lose my children. It doesn't matter what I did in the past, or if I was a good parent 5 years ago, 2 years ago, or even yesterday, I must be a consistent everyday or I will not succeed in training my children in the ways of the Lord.
So back to my earlier whining, it would be a lot easier to just let them do whatever they want, but that would only be for the short term. The long term result would be children who have no respect, no self-discipline, and eventually they would break my heart. This is not a burden I have any desire whatsoever to bear!!
If you have any words of wisdom to share I would love to hear it!
1 comment:
All I can say is I don't like being the parent of older children! I believe I have stated this before. Truth be known there are some really cool things about older kids, and I try not to lose sight of that. Parenting older children is not the same as parenting younger children. The bounderies change, or they should, and we have to figure out where they are again along with our children. Don't beat yourself up to much about this. Set the bounderies again, make sure they are not to tight or to lenient (good luck with that one) and be consistant as much as you can. I have found that sometimes I had to be more flexible than I wanted to in order for my children to learn what they needed to learn. Parenting is definately not for cowards! Charge! Right into the lap of God begging for help with this insurmountable job!
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